I’ve been struggling a lot with my expectations lately. Because even though we can try to be intentional with them… sometimes our expectations seem to spring up out of nowhere, sparked by unspoken desires or inspired by something as small an innocuous as another person’s Instagram post.
Sometimes I think that, subconsciously, I’ve internalized the meaning of “happiness” to be “having all of my expectations met” when I know, intellectually, that’s simply not realistic. And so I convince myself I’m unhappy despite the fact that I’m currently living the life I’ve created for myself.
My expectations are also largely future-based, and I’m already the kind of person who has difficulty rooting into the present. So even if I am happy in the moment, I’m not present for it — I’m looking down the road, already setting new expectations for moments to come.
I really admire UK-based creativity coach Jen Carrington, and I recently reread one of her reflections on expectations:
“Problems can arise when we hold too tightly onto the expectations of how the journey ‘SHOULD’ go. Are your expectations helpful for growth… or a stick to beat yourself with?”
How do you set expectations for yourself? Are they largely conscious or unconscious? And do they help you grow — or are they pulling you back?
Words & warmth,
Sarah