Welcome back to Write Now! Sarah here with a brand-new podcast episode featuring a topic that’s been on my mind a lot lately — and, from the questions and comments I’ve received, many other writers’ minds as well.
Let’s Talk About “Supposed To”.
There are a lot of “supposed to”s for writers. For example, you’re “supposed to” write every day. You’re “supposed to” outline your book or your novel or your audio drama podcast before you write it. You’re “supposed to” create within a sanctioned format.
But it goes even deeper — more than even just our actions, we’re “supposed to” feel a certain way as a writer. We’re “supposed to” have our routine figured out. We’re “supposed to” feel confident in what we create. We’re “supposed to” love every minute of the process. We’re “supposed to” punch fear in the face.
Etc., etc., ad nauseum.
You’ll notice I’ve been putting the phrase “supposed to” in quotation marks, because I’m not exactly certain we’re “supposed to” do the things we’re “supposed to” do. After all, who established those “supposed to”s in the first place? And what’s the punishment if we don’t follow the rules?
So What’s In Today’s Episode?
In today’s episode, I’m exploring what it means for us to live and create within rules and expectations that we don’t set for ourselves. I’m also exploring where the “supposed to”s come from, and how we escape the guilt and obligation that come with them
Because… what could we create if we were free of the “supposed to”?
Hi Sarah, I am not finding your show notes on your recent podcasts. What am I doing wrong? Thanks
Hi Dennis! You’re not doing anything wrong… I need to beef up what I’m doing with show notes! Thanks for the reminder! —Sarah
Sarah this is so “on spot”. You are “supposed to fail a lot in writing” before you succeed. The first time I ever wrote an article, it was published in Autism Parenting Magazine and hailed as great by an expert in the autism field. So do NOT go by the supposed to’s. I didn’t write every day. It took me forever to write the article. Not only that, I was not confident in it. But I had to advocate for my son. So I did. And it was great. Thanks for the amazing podcast.
Patricia, I LOVE hearing about your experience! Thank you for sharing it with us. 🙂 -Sarah
I really, really needed this episode. I’ve been feeling a LOT of guilt because my latest project is taking so much longer than the last. I’m supposed to get this done more quickly, I’m supposed to be excited about it. And, of course, it’s supposed to be easier.
It was so great to know that I’m not alone, and that it’s okay that it’s still hard to sit down and write. Thank you!
Thank YOU for sharing your experience, Allison! We’re all right here with you. -Sarah
What I felt after listening to this episode (and because I was in a particularly spiritually fit day) was that the “supposed to’s” are guidelines for progress. They are outlines of possibilities, of which I can try different ones on and see what fits.
If I approach it with an air of curiousity, i.e., “Oh, you write every day for 4 hours including holidays? Hmmm… well let me try… oh dear, no that doesn’t work so well for me” or “Oh, you get up at 6am and write for 15 minutes? Hmmm… well let’s see… hey I can do 15 minutes at 8am” then it is much kinder to myself.
It’s kind of like in program they say stop “shoulding” all over yourself. Seems like the “supposed to’s” is along the same lines.
Thanks for the podcast!
Half-way through podcast #71 I started singing this verse in my head: “Oh Sarah, you’re so fine. You’re so fine, you blow my mind! Hey Sarah!”
Thank you, thank you Sarah for this episode. It’s just what I needed! I’m stuck at about 13, 000 words on my MS of “unknown genre.”
I’m ready to get back in the ring. Thanks for being in my corner!
Haha! Nadine, thank you! That delights me. 😀 YOU CAN DO THIS!!! Happy writing! – Sarah
Sarah, this podcast episode was just so timely for me, so thank you. I think I’ll do myself the kindness of listening to it again on the way home.
In one of your early episodes you introduced me to the idea of *seasons* for writing and not-writing, and I must thank you for that too. I’m in a bit of a fallow period just now — almost all my time and energy is dedicated to this home renovation/home sale/household merge/new home buying thing. It’s a *very* heavy and time consuming project!
This episode reinforced for me the idea that I need to give myself a little grace and let this be a season for working with my hands rather than with a pen.
Sean, I love this — YES. Take a season to complete what you need to complete, and then your writing season(s) can begin anew. 🙂 Be good to yourself. -Sarah