Making It Stick

How are you with… STICKING TO THINGS?

You can probably tell by the way I asked that I’m NOT GREAT at it.

My New Year’s resolutions usually last me about two weeks (if that), and Things That I Should Be Doing To Become A Better Person🇹🇲 (e.g., daily gratitude journaling, daily green smoothies, daily 9-mile jogs) usually last for a couple of days before I forget that they (the gratitude journal, the smoothie-making apparatus, the concept of jogging) even exist.

Now, there’s a TON of great content out there about how to build a habit that STICKS. (I’ve even written some of it myself!) But that’s not what I’m talking about today.

Instead, I want to ask: what habits are WORTH building? What changes do we ACTUALLY WANT to make?

I think that a lot of the reason I don’t stick with new habits and routines is that, deep down, I don’t believe in them, or I don’t believe they’ll work for me, and I’m only doing them because someone else told me to. I only take them on because I feel like I “should”, or because I am naturally a people-pleaser who wants to validate and uplift someone else by showing them, “Hey, look! I’m doing that thing you suggested! Doesn’t that make you feel happy and good?”

The reason I do things like that is deeply tied to who I am and what I want out of life. I love making people feel valued and encouraged, and so of course my first instinct is to do things that achieve that — you know, like taking on a habit that doesn’t actually serve me and my needs just to make someone else feel valid and seen.

There are a lot of things in life that can stick as habits — gratitude journaling, daily green smoothies, 9-mile jogs, and more. But they’re not one-size-fits-all.

So which ones are right for us, as individuals?

I’ve found that the ones that work for me fit into my life naturally — while I do need to take conscious action, I don’t have trouble making them STICK.

The last day I had more than one cup of caffeinated coffee in a day was March 6, 2020, when I told my friend Cap about my heart arrhythmia and panic attacks, and she suggested I lower my caffeine intake to one cup a day.

I believed in the result and I invested myself into my health, and while it was tough to limit myself to one cup of coffee a day, I didn’t have any trouble making that new habit STICK.

Where I have trouble is the “should” habits that, while they make sense and seem like amazing ideas, I don’t actually believe in.

Now, I know that I could somehow trick myself into believing that daily 9-mile jogs are good for me, but at some point my brain becomes aware that I’m trying to make it do something it (at its core) does NOT WANT TO DO, and it rebels.

If there’s a habit you’re trying to build that just won’t STICK, think about why you’re so invested in it. Why are you rebelling against it? Does it serve you? Do you believe that it will help you? Do you WANT to be helped?

Who are we, if left to our own devices? And who do we become?

Words & warmth,

Sarah