I can do a magic trick — I can log in to a social media account and make all of my time disappear!
I know, it sounds impossible that one or two or even three whole hours could simply vanish while I’m scrolling past photos of lattes and incendiary political tweets, but… it’s true!
I always find myself bemoaning afterward, “This is not the kind of magic I signed up for!” Except… it is. I sign up for it every time I open up Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook on my phone. Some distant part of my brain realizes, when I do this, that I’m about to lose a large chunk of my precious, precious free time, but another part of my brain — the resistant, frightened, lying, and self-sabotaging part — insists that I can just “check that one thing” and then “hop right off again”. Yeah.
Hours later, I’ve done nothing good or useful or enjoyable with my time, and I’m twitching with self-loathing.
Can you relate? Are you a magician, too?
This was happening to me so much that I needed to make a list of things I actually enjoyed doing, just to remind myself what I could be doing instead of thoughtlessly and numbly scrolling for hours at a time. (For the curious, my list includes: writing, reading, journaling, drinking good coffee, eating chocolate, gardening, meditating/daydreaming, going for walks in nature, watching Netflix, texting with my sibs, and talking with friends.)
I hate coming face-to-face with the fact that I am in control of how I spend my time, and that every time I open up a social media app on my phone (whether consciously or absentmindedly), it is a choice.
But… before we sink forever into the bog of self-hatred, we need to remember: we’re human. We’re not perfect, even if we’re tempted to present ourselves as such online. We won’t always make the best decisions about how to spend our time. We form bad habits. And sometimes (again, out of resistance, self-sabotage, anxiety, fear, hopelessness, etc.), we go searching for distraction.
So the first step for my fellow time-magicians: forgive yourself. Remember, we’re human. We need to give ourselves some grace and remember we’re not perfectly regimented robots — and we wouldn’t want to be.
Second, think about what you’re really after when you begin to descend the social media spiral. Are you purposefully avoiding something? Are you looking to numb the hopelessness in your heart? Are you self-sabotaging by consciously or unconsciously wasting your time? Or are you just looking for Aunt Joan’s pecan pie recipe and getting distracted along the way?
Third, consult your list (or borrow mine). Remember that there are things you love to do, and that you could be spending your time doing those things and finding true joy, fulfillment, and rest.
I want the best for you.
Words & warmth,
Sarah