How Do I Know?
Welcome back, dear listeners! It’s me, Sarah (…perhaps obviously), and today I’m responding to a listener question that I received:
“I really want to self publish a book someday but I worry that my first book will be terrible, since with each consecutive book I will be older and have more experience writing and therefore likely be more skilled. I’m worried that after I’m several books in, I will regret having published my first one, and it will be embarrassingly bad. How do I know when I’m good enough to self publish?”
This question hit me because I think it’s one of those things that a lot of writers (including myself) feel, but we never talk about. So it’s time to talk about it.
Good News & Bad News
As I note in today’s episode, there’s a LOT going on in this question. I noticed the following mini-questions embedded within:
- What is “good enough”?
- What is “enough”, for that matter?
- Do you think there is such thing as “enough”? And… “enough” for what?
- Why are you writing in the first place?
- What are your writing goals? What are your expectations for your work?
- Who are you trusting to read and critique your work?
- What actions are you taking?
- What actions are you willing to take? How brave are you willing to be?
- Are you willing to dwell in a place of uncertainty and creative action?
The good news is, you’re always learning. However, that’s technically the bad news, too. Because it cuts out the certainty. The definitiveness, if there is such a thing.
You will always continue to improve and grow — there is no ceiling on what you can achieve. But this will only happen as long as you continue writing and creating. Only as long as you keep taking action.
It’s tempting to say, “Well, I’ll be a better writer in 10 years, so I might as well just wait 10 years to publish until I’m a better writer.” But you can’t just wait. You need to act to improve. If you put it off until you’re “better”… you’re not going to get 10 years better. You’ll just be 10 years older, and at the same skill level you are now.
You Don’t Want To Peak
No matter how good you think it is at the time, you will always look back on your earlier work and say, “Ugh! What was I thinking? Why did I think this was good?”
This is true of me with the first episode of the Write Now podcast (which I even hesitate to link you to). At the time I published it (way back in January 2015), I thought it was the best thing I had ever created and ever would create. And now… well, it’s embarrassing.
And that’s OK. I have the option to take it down if I want. But I don’t want to, because I’m proud of the growth I made. I’m proud of where I was at the time and what I had learned, and what I still had yet to learn.
The same is true of the first episode of Girl In Space (published in September 2017). Again, at the time, I thought it was the best thing I had ever created, etc. etc. And now… to be honest, I can’t stand to listen to it.
I’ve grown and learned and changed SO MUCH since then. And that’s a GOOD THING.
You don’t want to peak. You don’t want to be the high school quarterback looking sadly back on his glory days at the age of 45. You don’t want to ever look back and realize your best work is behind you. Your best days and your best work are still ahead of you, and that is such an amazing thing!
Fear Can Be Paralyzing.
If you’re a perfectionist like me (or like I’m trying not to be…), it hurts your very soul to think you’re not putting sheer perfection out into the universe. But no one is. That’s the secret. That’s the trick. No one is perfect. And no one can be perfect. Perfection is a Platonic ideal that does not exist in our mortal realm.
Perfectionism is fear. Plain and simple.
Thinking that you are the exception, and that you can somehow be perfect, is ego. Stop it.
The way to co-exist with fear (which I don’t want to villainize, because it’s a natural and protective instinct) is to acknowledge the fear, and keep taking action regardless. So take those steps. Keep moving forward, one step at a time. And know that with each step, you are growing, learning, and improving. And that the next, better step can come until you’re done taking this one.
Get Honest Feedback.
Fear and action and bravery aside, a more practical response to this question is to advise you to seek the feedback and critique of fellow writers and peers that you trust to be honest about your work.
Join a writer’s group (which you can learn more about in Episode 035: The Power Of A Writers’ Group), or jump into my free Facebook group for writers, where you can chat with other writers who are at the same place and the same level you are. You can also talk to a teacher, mentor, or friend whose opinion you trust. You could also work with a structural editor or writing coach.
They can help you figure out whether or not it’s time to self-publish your material, or if it still needs a bit of work.
What Do You Think?
What are the next steps you need to take to “level up” as a writer? What are you most afraid to do? How can you be brave? And do you have a peer or group of peers you trust to critique your writing?
Let me know in the comments below, or feel free to share your thoughts in my I Am A Writer Facebook group!
Listen In:
Enjoy streaming Episode 073 of the Write Now podcast here, or subscribe to listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Pandora, or any other podcasting app!