I’ve been struggling with a lot this year — writing the second season of the Girl In Space podcast, fitting in my work for my business, the work I’m doing for [censored], and all of the disruption and anxiety that COVID and our current political climate have brought us.
In talking with my good friend Jordan yesterday (creator of the excellent Janus Descending, which is an emotionally wrenching space-horror audio drama that you will probably love), I realized that all of these factors have affected me more than I cared to admit. I thought I was immune, hiding here in my little office in South Dakota; I thought I was exempt somehow, that “I should be so much farther ahead” with all the “extra free time” the pandemic and quarantine have afforded us.
(Side note: Where is all of that “extra free time”? Did I miss the delivery date? Did someone steal it off my doorstep? Did it expire before I had a chance to use it?)
As Jordan told me: “You might be isolated, but you’re not insulated.”
Wow. She was so incredibly correct. I have been affected and I needed to admit it.
I have felt fear and anxiety, both regarding COVID and the increasingly open and obvious corruption and brokenness within the systems that rule our lives. People’s actions (and/or lack thereof) have been hurtful, both personally and from a distance. I feel a new tension at previously harmless places like Target and the grocery store, where my mask-wearing apparently entitles other people to curse at me and call me names. It’s stressful, to say the least.
So what do we do with all of this? What can we do?
I acknowledge it, process it, center myself as best I can, and get back to work. I just have to acknowledge that it may take additional time and intentionality to do this then and regain my focus.
So it will still be a while, but my projects (including Season 2 of Girl In Space) are moving forward. Slowly, steadily, in the only way I — and any of us — know how.
Words & warmth,