Have you noticed that when someone takes a break from social media, it is usually met with “Good for you!” or “I wish I could do that”? That it’s generally regarded as a positive thing, a feat of strength or willpower or selflessness? A reclaiming of one’s free time, a freedom or respite from the obligatory overwhelm each new day brings?
I’ve noticed, because I said it the other day. My friend Michelle has been on a social media hiatus for several months now, and seems to be much better off for it. “That’s amazing,” I told her. “I wish I could do that.”
And then I realized — I had done that. Just… not intentionally.
Those of you who follow me on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Discord, Tumblr, etc., may have noticed that I haven’t been super active (or active at all) lately. I do try to respond to tags and mentions, but largely I’ve been closing out of the app after popping in to check my notifications, avoiding the stream/newsfeed altogether.
Again, I haven’t done this intentionally. I seem to have just… drifted away.
Perhaps it’s an avoidance of overwhelm, of seeing and then having to deal with not only my own notifications but everyone else’s hopes, dreams, anxieties, problems, and frustrations. It’s a lot to carry, and something I don’t do especially well.
But while I’ve noticed a little less overwhelm (and a lot more free time), I’ve noticed that I’m missing out on something, too. Something important.
I didn’t realize until I stopped using it that most of my friendships and relationships are based online, largely on social media.
And when I stopped using social media, I stopped interacting with most of the people I know. I have only recently realized that I have been missing a sense of belonging. Of connection. Of community.
I have the feeling that if I told someone over coffee that I was no longer using social media, it would be received in a positive light. “Good for you!” they might even say.
But… is it?
Words & warmth,
Sarah