2015 was going to be the year that I read a book a week. (NOTICE THAT I SAID “WAS”.) 🙂
When I set the goal of 52 books in January 2015, I had not yet launched the Write Now podcast (that launched in February) and I had no idea what the year would bring, from my dad’s extended hospitalization to multiple talks, the duties of a church presidency, and general social overcommitment.
What I’m saying is I didn’t hit my goal:
I’m not saying all of this to make an excuse — I’m saying it because I’m flabbergasted.
Look, I love to read. It has and always will be my one enduring passion. More than writing, more than podcasting, more than anything.
Reading got me though years of bullying at school, provided me with friends when I had none, transported me to adventures I couldn’t have had otherwise. It provided me with a wonderful vocabulary and taught me to think in ways I’d never have considered otherwise.
So why did reading lose its priority for me in 2015? Or, phrased differently:
Why do we keep ourselves from doing what we truly love?
For me, I brushed aside what I loved doing in pursuit of success at work, at church, and with my podcast. I told myself there would be time to read when “all this” was over, when a new season began.
And when I did manage to sneak in a few chapters before bed, I felt guilty that I wasn’t working. There’s always work to be done, after all, and success means hard work and sacrifice.
Right?
Honestly, I don’t know anymore. I think it depends on what success actually means to you. In 2015, I thought it was having a podcast that got a ton of accolades and downloads. But I learned that this kind of success didn’t make me happy — it just made me want more accolades and downloads.
So I’m doing 2016 a little differently. I’m going to switch over my definition of “success” from a measurable statistic to a sense of emotional and mental well-being. Maybe even some kind of general contentment or happiness.
I’m going to read. I’m going to write. I’m going to podcast. And I’m still going to work hard, but I’m going to try not to equate my self-worth with how much work I get done in a day.
I’m going to try to do more of what I love in 2016. And I hope that you decide to do the same.
Here’s what I did manage to read in 2015:
As always, you can keep up with my reading adventures on Goodreads.
xo,
Sarah